Father's Heart

I woke Andrew up at 8am after sleeping for 11 hours. Usually he wakes up smiling and so happy. But this morning he just put his head up and smiled once and put his head down again. Thinking that maybe he wasn't fully awake, I brought him over to my bed to play with him for a little bit before going to work. While driving to work, Betty took his temperature and said it was over 101. Then later in the afternoon, it was up to 102.6. Andrew wasn't himself. During the afternoon, he wasn't flipping over, smiling or kicking his legs. After taking another temp, it read 102.7. And this is when I came home and we took him to the ped office. The ped said that there is a virus going around and he might have a fever for the next day or two, but when I see how tired and lethargic he looks, my heart just breaks. I can't stand to see the little guy so tired and unmotivated to do anything. Usually when we put him down, he flips over right away. But all day today he didn't move much. Right now he's in bed with his thumb in his mouth sound asleep. He's still burning up and hot all over.

I can't stop thinking about him. Is this how our parents feel when we're hurting or sick? Am I finally understanding our heavenly Father's heart for me? This is a whole new territory for me. The way I feel for Andrew is different from the way I feel when Betty or my parents are sick. I'm still learning to love my son in a different way. I don't know if all this makes sense but for now I just want his fever to go down and be himself.

Happy 7th!

Happy 7 month birthday! Andrew turned 7 months old 3 days ago on the 15th. I can't believe my son is this old! But I'm sure I'll be saying this when he turns 8 months, 8 y/o, 18 y/o, etc. This past month (since my last post) he's grown so much. He's now a master in turning over from his back to belly. He moves around non stop and is constantly trying to grab things and put it in his mouth. He's a little slow developmentally due to his girth but that's okay. I don't mind that he's not crawling yet because that's more work for mommy and daddy if he's crawling all over the house.

It's been such a joy raising Andrew. If all babies are like him, I think we can raise 5 of them at a time. Betty and I were trying to remember when the last time we heard him cry. I think it was on his 6 month appointment when he got 4 shots. I think I would have cried too. Before that I think it was at 5 months when we were driving home from small group at midnight and he was really tired. I hate to brag but I will about my son. He sleeps 10-12 hours a night, straight without waking up. He slept 12 hours last night. And when he does finally wake up in the morning, he doesn't cry or fuss. The first thing he does is suck his thumb and just lay there until he's fully awake. Then he gets on his elbows and picks up his head to look at the mobile. Then he turns his body towards the door and just waits there until Betty or I finally get to him. What other baby does that? And during the day he takes 3 two hour naps and eats 5 times a day without a fight. If we have to do something around the house, we just leave him in his jumperoo or his playmat and he can play on his own for up to an hour before he asks for us.

We're so blessed. We really think Andrew is the way he is because he gave us such a hard time when Betty was pregnant. We thank God every single day for our precious gift. Thanks God! =)

Happy 6th!

Andrew is 6 months old today! Happy birthday my little buddy!! Daddy is so proud of you!! You have been such a joy and a constant source of blessing in our life. You sleep well, eat a lot, smile all the time and laughs at daddy's silly faces-what more can we ask for? You are the answer to our prayers. We can't believe how quickly you've grown and how you change every single day. Our prayer for you is to know God and love God with all of your heart. May God continue to bless you and protect you! We love you Andrew!

Happy 100th Day Birthday!!

Wow, it's been 2 months since my last post. Where has the time gone? It's been a little crazy in the Suh household recently but it's all good. This past Saturday both of our families got together to celebrate Andrew's 100th day birthday!! In fact today is his 100th day birthday!! Happy birthday my little buddy!!!!!! It was a little crazy having both families over which included 2 toddlers, 2 infants and lot of other ppl over 18 but all in all it was a lot of fun and lots of good food. My brother in law brought 20lbs of Alaskan snow crabs which was just unbelievable.

Andrew has been more then what we expected. I think he's the best baby ever. I'm not saying that because he's my son. :) Of course I'm biased but we've just been really blessed. He doesn't cry during the car rides, doesn't cry when he's hungry, doesn't fuss when he's at church all day. He just doesn't cry. My parents have repeated tried to make him cry because they've never heard him cry before. I can count on 1 hand the number of times that he really cried.
He smiles so much especially in the morning after he wakes up from his 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. It's my job to wake up first to change his diaper and to play with him for a little bit. During this time he just smiles, coos, laughs, and is just so active. It makes waking up so enjoyable to see him like that. I don't know if he recognizes my voice/face yet but I know he does with Betty. Whenever she talks to him and smiles at him, 90% of the time he smiles/laughs back. It's so cute!!
He's also gotten really big. I think he's about 14lbs and change.. I know the 'change' part can be 10-20% of his weight but he's gotten a lot bigger, heavier and longer since his 2 month check up. He has 'thunder thighs' as Betty likes to call it and he has no wrists. All you see is a line between his forearm and hands.. So cute though.
People have asked me what it feels like to be a dad. To be honest, it still hasn't really hit me yet. I mean I do realize that I have a son and that I love him to death, but I think it'll hit me more once he responds to me and recognizes me. I can't image how I can love him more and more but I'm beginning to realize that that love has to come from God and not from within. Before Andrew was born, I was concerned how I can love another person the way I love my wife. But it's amazing how God gives you that love for another human being.. It's very intense and it's awesome!!
This post is getting way too long. I don't have pics because they're all in my camera and I haven't been able to download them yet. We must have taken a million pictures so far.

Today we're going to go take a family picture at a picture place in the mall. Believe it or not, we don't have 1 single picture of Andrew in our house!! I know I'm a bad dad.. No excuses. That's why you're not seeing any pictures on this post either. I'm going to try to put up some pictures tomorrow morning.

For the 3 people that read this blog, I'll try to update more often.

He's the king..

..of our bed and our house.

Valentines Day

It's a bit late but figured it's better late then never. And also the purpose of this post is not to inform the 3 people that actually read this post about Andrew but more of a diary of his life. So hopefully one day he can go back to this blog and see what's been going on in his life.

Anyways for Valentines day we decided to just order in. Actually Andrew decided that we should order in. We were both craving sushi so I figured I call 30 minutes before and pick it up. Well, it ended up being a little more then 30 mins.. It was more like 1 hr and 45 mins! Can you believe that the wait for take out was that long? But I think the wait was worth it and we really enjoyed it. Andrew was good and slept through our entire dinner.

I was passed out after dinner. I've been passing out a lot these days, usually around 9pm.

Anger to Relief

We had to take Andrew to CHOP (in Philly) this past Monday to get more labs done. Previous labs were done at the CHOP outpatient in KOP but we didn't want to wait for an appointment since they're so backed up. First of all the reason why we didn't go to our primary ped office is because the lab tech there is like 15 years old and she didn't feel confident in poking a baby so young. My question is this: If your only job is to draw blood at a pediatrician's office, shouldn't you be competent in drawing blood for ALL pediatric patients? That's like saying that I can only give consults to hospice patients that are between the ages of 70-80. Anyways, because of that we had to fight rush hour traffic to get to the city.

So after registering and waiting, we finally get to the lab. The lab tech that was drawing his blood was horrible. She had no problem finding a vein in his hand but after she poked him, she neglected to keep the needle in place and it came out. So now she had to find another site to get blood which ended up being his foot. At this point I'm a little upset. He already has so many veins that are shot b/c of all the blood draws.. he didn't need an incompetent tech making things worse. Anyways, she found a vein and was getting some blood but instead of keeping the needle steady, it kept on moving around while the needle was still in there! I was so mad! And it's one of those things where if you say something to her, she's going to take it out on Andrew. I kept my mouth shut and by this point I think she realized that she can't do it and got someone else. She was able to come in, find the 3rd vein with no problems and got all the blood needed for the tests.

Andrew normally doesn't cry. The only time that he may cry is when we change his diaper. Even during his cicumcision he just slept through it all! During this visit, he was just wailing and screaming so much like never before. This was the first time ever that I saw tears coming out of his eyes.. Poor kid.

With all this said, his labs came back looking a lot better. His jaundice is going away and his ped didn't think he had to see a hematologist. Praise God! We'll be going back to the primary in 2 weeks for another check up and more labs. I wonder if the tech does blood draws for an 8 week old..

More blood..

So it looks like we're not out of the woods yet with Andrew and his health. In terms of his breathing, everything is fine and normal. But when Betty took him for his 1 month check up, his bili levels went back up which worried the doctor. So a few days later he got additional labs done requiring 3 needle pokes and those came back normal. But we weren't able to get a CBC done because he just didn't have any blood left so Betty had to go back the next day to get that done. The tech wasn't able to find a good vein because of all the blood draws he's gotten over the past 5 weeks so she had to get an ocology nurse to help. She was able to draw out just enough blood but she had to move around the needle back and forth to get the amount she needed. The CBC's came back normal. We were waiting on another result on his reticulocyte at the same time but the labs messed up and requested a different test done instead of the retic count. So now we're waiting to see if we even need that result. If everything comes back normal and the bili levels are still high and not going down, we might have to see a hematologist..

Please pray for Andrew that the bilirubin levels would go back to normal and that he would finally be 100% healthy for the first time in his young life.

$82639.10

That's how much Andrew's medical bill added up to as of 2/10/08. This included all of his NICU stays at HUP, CHOP, Betty's hospital stays, outpatient ped visits and my cable TV. Can you believe it?? Over $82K!! Obviously we're not responsible for a majority of this bill. I'm sure they charged $5 per diaper change, $10 for each bottle of formula and $20 for a dose of ibuprofen. But if you still would like to contribute then you're more the welcome. =) It's funny how the hospital submits an X amount and Aetna decides how much they want to pay them for the services. So if you don't have insurance, does that mean that you have to pay this entire amount? I'm sure you can negotiate with the hospital to get the price down but not enough to where you can pay what Aetna pays the hospital.

All to say, Andrew you're one expensive baby!!

Finally Home, then to CHOP!

It was so nice to be finally home. Yes it was crazy having a baby in the house but we were excited to finally start living as a family in OUR HOME instead of at the hospital. Well this didn't last too long. About a week after we got home, Andrew started having trouble breathing again and became very lethargic and missed a few of his feedings. B immediately took Andrew to CHOP while I frantically left work to meet them there.

We waited about 30 minutes in the ER before we saw the nurse. Even though there were tons of other kids there, they try to see infants first. BTW, do NOT take your child to the CHOP ER unless he/she is really, REALLY sick. There are so many kids coughing, sneezing, touching things that your kid will most likely get even sicker from just being in the same room. Anyways they did all sorts of tests on him including a spinal tap, 2 iv ports, straight catheter, rectal temperature, nasal swab, etc, etc, etc. The worse was seeing him getting the spinal tap. Mom had to leave the room and it was probably a good idea. Seeing your kid getting a needle in his spine is probably not the best idea.

Anyways because they had to rule out any kind of bacterial/viral infection, they had to admit him to the in-patient unit and we stayed there for another 3 days. Not fun. We staying in a very small double, sharing a room with another kid with his mom and grandmother. They were not considerate at all and was loud and obnoxious during most of our stay. We were going to say something to them but decided not to because we felt bad that their kid was sicker then Andrew. He ended up getting some kind of abdominal surgery and was allergic to all sorts formula and vomited several times. Anyways, we dealt with it. Oh another thing that got me really ticked off was whenever Jerry Springer and Maury was on they would crank up the volume so loud!


Here's Andrew with all the wires and IV port.

Here's Andrew just chillin' while they do all sorts of tests on him.

We were really proud of how well he did during the stay. We were finally discharged Friday night. They really didn't figure out what was wrong with him. We suspect that because he was 3 weeks early, his lungs weren't fully developed and that caused his labored breathing. We're so thankful that he's okay and back home again. We were again reminded that our son does not belong to us but ultimately to Him who gave him life and also sustains his life.

Finally a restaurant review. Yes a restaurant review. Because of Andrew, we were at HUP and CHOP for about 10 days and had many, many meals at McDonalds. I highly, highly recommend their Mcgriddle breakfast sandwich. The bread is basically 2 pieces of pancake mixed with syrup. The bacon/sausage, egg, cheese is as artificial as their other breakfast sandwiches but with the bread it tastes a lot better. Also one good thing about being at CHOP is that you get unlimited coffee!! Their coffee isn't anything to write home about but it's better then average. They put in the sugar and cream for you so it does take a few tries before you get the right combination that you like.

His First Days..

Andrew only 5 minutes old!

This is our first family picture, less then an hour after Andrew was born.

After 90 minutes of his birth, the nurses and doctors saw something abnormal with how Andrew was breathing. They felt that he was laboring to hard to breathe and decided to put him in the NICU. The doctors and nurses assured us that he was going to be okay and what's going on with him was very common. But if you saw your baby like this, how would you have felt??

They had iv's going with fluids/antibiotics, all sorts of monitors, and the breathing mechanism. This broke my heart. With God's grace, he got stronger and stronger and we were able to go home on Saturday. We stayed at HUP for 6 days but it felt like 6 weeks. Maybe it was because I was sleeping just a few hours a night and didn't shower at all. Anyways, I did master the skill of sleeping on the pull out chair.

How it all started

Wow, 2nd post in 1 day? We'll see how long this lasts. Anyways, I was going to go back about 7.5 months to recount what exactly happened to call our son a little miracle.

After we found out that we were pregnant, we were overjoyed, excited and couldn't wait to be parents.
The first 5 weeks just came and went but it was week 6 when we realized something was wrong. B started bleeding heavily and after we went to the doctor (Sunday-Father's day) we were told that she was going to have a miscarriage. The doctor told us to prepare ourselves and to come back on Wednesday to make sure that everything has been cleansed out. From Sunday to Wednesday right before the appointment, we were a mess to say the least. When we saw the ultrasound we were all shocked at what we saw. The baby sac was still there surrounded by blood. And we saw the heartbeat blinking on the monitor!! The doctor was amazed that the baby survived through all the bleeding. We left the office shocked and thankful but also afraid to attach ourselves to the baby. Well in a few days it happened again. B started bleeding heavily like the week before and we went to the doctor's office again that Sunday. Same thing happened. A different doctor told us that too much blood was lost and that the baby was lost. The doctor didn't see the baby or the heartbeat anymore and told us to prepare for another miscarriage. Again we came in on Wednesday and saw the baby's heartbeat!!

Now you would think it would be smooth sailing from there. Nope. This happened AGAIN for the 3rd week in a row. At this point we were just emotionally exhausted. That's week 9.

From week 9 to week 36, we knew that B had to be careful with her body. But at the same time we also believed that if God kept Andrew alive during the first 3 'miscarriages' then He was going to protect him no matter what. Weeks just flew by and before we knew it, B's water broke!! It was 1/15/08 @ 12:41am when her water broke. We were totally not prepared at this point. It was week 36, day 5 when this happened and we thought we were going to have another 2 weeks or so before the baby came. I threw the car seat (still in the box, unopened) in the trunk and off we went to HUP. Luckily there was no traffic on 76 at 2am. But a part of me envisioned B in labor during rush hour and me driving along the shoulder, honking and screaming while reminding B to breathe and stay calm. The drive to HUP was uneventful and to make the long story short, Andrew was born on January 15 @ 1:55pm weighing in at 6lbs and 9oz. Betty ended up having a c-section mainly due to the fact that his heart rate was getting too high and NOT because the size of his head!!!

First Post

I think I've written a lot of 'first posts' on these blogs before. I think I had another blog I started besides Xanga (which I hardly update) but got deactivated. So what's prompting me to start another blog you ask? Well as the title states, B and I recently got a little miracle.. A birth of our son! Over the next few days (or weeks, hopefully not months), I'll post why he's our little miracle (besides the obvious reason that he's God's amazing creation) and how he ended up where he is today. And for the few people that might actually read this blog, I'll do my best to update this as often as I can. This blog will focus mostly on the little guy but will on occasion have some random posts. For now, enjoy these pictures of our son.