Father's Heart

I woke Andrew up at 8am after sleeping for 11 hours. Usually he wakes up smiling and so happy. But this morning he just put his head up and smiled once and put his head down again. Thinking that maybe he wasn't fully awake, I brought him over to my bed to play with him for a little bit before going to work. While driving to work, Betty took his temperature and said it was over 101. Then later in the afternoon, it was up to 102.6. Andrew wasn't himself. During the afternoon, he wasn't flipping over, smiling or kicking his legs. After taking another temp, it read 102.7. And this is when I came home and we took him to the ped office. The ped said that there is a virus going around and he might have a fever for the next day or two, but when I see how tired and lethargic he looks, my heart just breaks. I can't stand to see the little guy so tired and unmotivated to do anything. Usually when we put him down, he flips over right away. But all day today he didn't move much. Right now he's in bed with his thumb in his mouth sound asleep. He's still burning up and hot all over.

I can't stop thinking about him. Is this how our parents feel when we're hurting or sick? Am I finally understanding our heavenly Father's heart for me? This is a whole new territory for me. The way I feel for Andrew is different from the way I feel when Betty or my parents are sick. I'm still learning to love my son in a different way. I don't know if all this makes sense but for now I just want his fever to go down and be himself.